Happy Saturday everyone. It's me, and I'm starting to feel back to my old/new self again :) Confused yet? You don't know the half of it. I've been going through so much stuff I can't even tell you. What I can tell you,...is that I'm starting to feel like things are going to be all right and I think that's a functioning symptom of actual happiness. Don't misunderstand me... It's extremely tough to reconcile feeling good when you know someone else isn't feeling good but it is so necessary sometimes to just,... not beat yourself up about it. As I can attest to,...that's how you get strep, and it's disgusting so just do yourself a favor and let go.
Today is an important day. I am looking at an apartment and if it's as good as I think it's going to be... well then watch out everyone. No... I'm serious. Watch out because I'm going to have freak...out. Hopefully it doesn't actually manifest itself physically because then I'll really have no friends. None. Oh I get it. You thought I made that shit up about dancing and singing when happy? Nope. Completely serious. I'm a certifiable dork and this is what I do. I squeal with joy. Trust me...as I'm typing...I am shaking my head too.
I can't explain what's happened since I quit smoking but something seriously happened to me. It's not that my sarcasm disappeared or anything (trust me,.. I definitely still have that--you can ask Morgan....the parking garage attendant) but there's just this little bit of extra spaz in me that will not go away.
Example: Yesterday I was in my chair at work at exactly 6:45 am. Truth! And when I left... it was 7. And when I got home,...it was midnight. And when I went to bed... it was 1 am. And when I woke up,... it was 8 am. My own parents will tell you I didn't have this much energy in elementary school. They couldn't wake me up for shit! My dad used to take the mattress and bounce it until I'd almost fall out of bed to get me up in the morning... not now. Now I get up, I do my thing, and I just... power through. It's incredible. And I can't help but think that this has absolutely everything to do with quitting smoking and taking up caffeine as a more socially acceptable addiction :)
Okay I leave you to enjoy your Saturday. Will let you know about the apt!