Okay. I admit it. I am having a breakdown. Officially. Tonight was the first time I've gone shopping since I quit smoking. Terrible, terrible idea. I should have given myself more time, but time is a luxury I do not have because Saturday night is my birthday party and I can't show up to my own party looking...like.... like last year's Valentine's Day gone wrong. So I went to Bloomingdales in search of a dress. I should preface this by saying that today was not my finest. Today I looked like I just quit smoking. So naturally this translated to me not getting helped until I had about 20 dresses in my hand. Please note, that as I type this I am starting to stress out, and the only thing saving me right now is that I've had four glasses of Chilean Cab Sauv. At any rate, I tried on 25 dresses and was about to walk out of the dressing room dress-less, when I remembered the 26th pink dress hanging on the door. I knew before I tried it on, that it was going to be perfect. It was and so now I have a dress, and I should be happy and content, and excited, but everything is upsetting. Everything is irritating, and I want to drink more wine and I desperately want a cigarette, but I can't, and I think I just might cry myself to sleep. You know you're having a breakdown when even you start to irritate yourself.
I know I'm 4 glasses deep at the moment and I should probably do myself and all of you a favor and stop typing, but have you ever had brief moments of regret that you weren't part of some ethnic makeup that allowed for poor and unhealthy behavior? I mean,...the Irish get to drink, the French get to smoke... the Italians get to drink and smoke... Yes. That's it. I wish I was Italian. Actually... sometimes I do because I've been to Italy and it's so gorgeous I cried on the plane ride home because I didn't want to leave. The more I type, the more I'm sounding like a sad Diane Lane character aren't I... okay... I'm stopping now. Well,...have a good night and I will type you tomorrow.
PS: I know I will wake up tomorrow, read this and just die.
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