Microsoft Makes Me Want to Smoke and then Break Something

I blame Microsoft. I'm working in Excel and I just want to break everything around me. Everything. I don't understand! You know all of us smokers should sue Microsoft, not Philip Morris. Actually, I think Americans in general should sue Microsoft for causing health problems because I feel like I'm going to lose my f-ing mind right now. All I want to do is type in a cell, and this damn thing...I have to wait about 10 seconds per cell, I swear. I swear I swear. How many people do you think START smoking because of this shit. I'M TRYING TO DO MY JOB!!! I'M TRYING TO BE PRODUCTIVE AND FUCKING MICROSOFT WON'T LET ME!!!! Damn this. I don't know if I'm having a nicotine fit or a Microsoft fit. It's a true toss up.