Thursday, February 3, 2011

Keyser Soze and the Patch

Good morning. At least so far it's good. I got to work at 7:45 am which leaves me about half an hour to write this before I have to dig deep for the long day ahead. 

I first want to start off by telling you that I slept better than I have in so long I can't even remember. I slept so well that when the alarm went off at 6:05 am, I didn't throw my phone on the floor. (I know...that's really destructive and abusive behavior but my phone has a case so I wouldn't worry too much about it). I actually can't believe I got through a night without a nightmare and cold sweats and I bring this up only because I know it's got to have something to do with the fact that I haven't been smoking and here's how I know...

The one time I tried the patch was quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever done. I tried it with no intention of actually quitting, and believe it or not, placed the patch on my arm after just having had a cigarette. Not only did I do that....but I didn't read the instructions until about 30 minutes after I put the patch on. Why? Because I was microwaving a hot pocket and I thought monitoring the progress of my mid day snack was far more important than reading the instructions for the patch. After's a sticker. I mean, right? You put it on...and you walk away, then you EAT your hot pocket and THEN you read the instructions. But that's not how it played out. I actually finished the hot pocket, and fell asleep on the sofa chair while the Price Is Right carried on in the background. Classic. I know. The nap didn't last long. I woke up 20 minutes later crying.... and not just like...a few tears.... like someone was after me crying...sobbing is probably a better and more accurate description. Then when I had collected myself, and realized that Keyser Soze clones were NOT chasing me,... I calmed down, and read the instructions at which point I realized... the patch isn't like birth control. You don't shower with it. It's like a 10 minute deal which means I basically got 3 times the dose of nicotine I should have had which means I basically O.D.'d on nicotine which means I'm officially an asshole.

Next time,...will read directions before taking on hot pocket... I mean...patch.


  1. i like your blog especially since i have been trying to get my husband to stop smoking! i know i cant force it.... he has to quit when he is ready, but i just wish he was!

    He stopped smoking while i was pregnant but as soon as the baby came out (literally) he started up again. He has been smoking less then before and is down to about 4/5 cigarettes a day. He has also started using loose tobacco that you have to roll so he smokes even less because it takes longer to actually roll it up.

    i congratulate you on your journey to quitting smoking and wish you a lot of luck! keep the blog going.... it's very interesting.

    Sandra A.

  2. Sandra, thanks for your post. I'm sure your husband will come around. The rolling paper trick... I totally get it. Good luck to him and to you.