Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Tap Happy

Do you remember the movie, "Honey I Shrunk the Kids?" Where the kids become smaller than ants and suddenly everything around them is huge? That's how I'm feeling today except if I were in Honey I Shrunk the Kids, it would be an awesome adventure dodging sprinklers, and climbing Cheerios. Sadly, it's not that exciting. I am dealing with a heightened sense of those around me, which should cause me to reach for my headphones but I'm at work, and I can't. I can't tune out the random shouts and murmurs because most of the time, those shouts and murmurs are directed at me. So instead, I sit here, reminding myself that it's okay if I go absolutely insane because at least I'm not smoking, and (at some point) my lungs will thank me. 

This thought, however, is less comforting when someone starts tap tapping on my desk as if I'm Paula about to tell them... "You're just awesome. You tapped better than any of the other tappers today and I hope America votes for you tonight." If that were the case, I'd be Simon, and I'd say, "I think you're rubbish. That was the worst performance ever and I think Paula is deaf." This is the scenario as played out in my mind. But what happened in real life was less exciting. In real life, the tapper moved over to the white marker board, and started writing a list of things for me to do, making sure with every ounce of pressure, the marker squeaked.

Must resist urge to smoke, then must resist urge to blow brains out.

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