Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Last Time I Quit (No, not the time I tried the patch and failed)

The last time was over a year ago and I remember it about as well as I remember being born. Okay that's not true. I remember I quit for 3 months, and I really didn't have a hard time doing it until I had to confront someone at work. Then I collapsed like the Berlin Wall, crumbling on all sides, while the people cheered and shook there heads knowing this day was a long time coming. 


The strange thing is, I made this huge deal about quitting, in fact I told my friends to meet me at Starbucks an hour before it closed because I had some news to tell them. They all arrived on time (surprisingly) and cheered when I told them I was serious about quitting and to prove it to them, we were going to burn my cigarettes. I know...it's like when will the constant lapses in my judgement end.  


So after the last lonely Starbucks employee closed up for the evening, we created a bonfire with the New York Times... (yes...we should have used the Post) and in went my cigarettes. Well, this party lasted two seconds before a cop car literally bucked a U-ey, rolled down their window and said, "What the hell are you doing?" I was elated and thought...there's no way this cop can be mad at me. I'm quitting! I'm quitting a dirty, nasty habit and it's awesome and they should be supportive. So I told the cop my story and she furrowed her brow and said, "Okay well congratulations, can you put the fire out and next time, don't do this shit in front of Starbucks?"

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